If you decided to take that trip to Rio for this summer’s Olympics that officially kick off tomorrow, we hope you have your estate in order. Because we’re gonna be blunt here: Rio sucks right now. It's beautiful, yes. It's historical, yes. But it’s not a very safe place, and it surely isn’t a very healthy place—it’s unhealthy to swim, it’s unhealthy to breathe, it’s unhealthy to have sex. Basically, right now, it’s unhealthy to live in Rio.
So consider this your warning. If you happen to be in Rio right now, these are the 7 Ways You Can Die at the Summer Olympics.
1. Diarrhea
2. Meningitis
3. Harsh Living Situation/Freak Accidents
Just 12 of 31 Olympic Village buildings have passed health inspection, so Rio visitors, most notably Andrew Bogut, risk their lives in the Olympic Village. Andrew Bogut has kept his followers up to date with what it’s like to live in Rio, and it’s not good. Once the Mavericks' new center arrived in Rio, he seemed, well, indifferent about staying in the Olympic Village, sending out this tweet:
About 100 minutes later, Bogut sent out another tweet, giving us his first official update on #IOCLuxuryLodging, saying he had to put together his own shower curtain to avoid flooding:
Stephen Wade, a writer for the Associated Press covering the Olympics, had an accident of his own in the shower where not only did he not have hot water, but his shower head fell off. At least it wasn’t the shower handle, so Wade will more than likely avoid drowning. As for Bogut, his seven-foot frame will hopefully keep his head above water.
Even American gymnasts Simone Biles and Laurie Hernandez might suffer some sort of separation anxiety; their place in the village doesn’t have power outlets, much to the displeasure of the 16-year old Hernandez.