It’s been more than five months now since Ronda Rousey lost the first fight of her UFC career to Holly Holm, but it’s pretty clear that she’s still working to move past it. She was recently selected to be a part of Time’s list of the 100 most influential people in the world, and during her interview for it, she revealed that she’s “still grieving the person that could have won it all.”

“I have to live up to the fact that I’m not her,” she told Time. “That’s just who I wanted to be, and instead, I’m what I need to be for myself and everyone else.”

In the clip above, you can see that talking about her loss to Holm still makes Rousey emotional. But she got extra emotional towards the end of the interview when she talked about meeting with a woman who is dying of cancer in the days leading up to the Holm fight. According to Rousey, the woman (we think this may be her) asked the UFC star to promise that she would win against Holm. And even though she didn’t, Rousey said she’s still using that woman’s words as motivation.

“I was at the open workouts for the Holm fight,” she said, “and I really wanted to be, like, the people’s champion. I wanted to be able to take the time to see everybody. And this lady, she was dying of cancer and she came to that open workout and stood out in the sun, so she could have a chance to meet me. I promised her. She was like, ‘Please, please win,’ and I promised her I would win. And I didn’t. I need to come back and I need to win and I need to fulfill that promise...It was so important to her, I could tell. And I really want to make it up to her. I really want to make it up to her before it’s too late.”

Check out the video above to see Rousey’s full interview. It sounds like she's got all the motivation she needs to make a comeback.

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[via Time]