First things first: I’m in no position to make fun of anyone’s diet. I ate cereal that came out of a box with a cartoon character on the front of it for breakfast today…and washed it down with an Oreo. So I’m probably definitely not the person who should be dishing out diet advice.

That being said, Tom Brady’s personal chef Allen Campbell just did an interview with to talk about what it’s like to cook for the Patriots quarterback and his supermodel wife Gisele. And what I learned from it is that Brady’s diet sounds, well, awful. He does eat some things that sound appetizing, like grass-fed organic steak, duck “every now and then,” and chicken, which all seem normal enough. But 80 percent of Tom and Gisele’s diet consists of vegetables. So it leads to meals (or is it "meals"?) like this:

I’m all about serving meals in bowls. I’ve just did this quinoa dish with wilted greens. I use kale or Swiss chard or beet greens. I add garlic, toasted in coconut oil. And then some toasted almonds, or this cashew sauce with lime curry, lemongrass, and a little bit of ginger. That’s just comfort food for them.

They call that “comfort food”? Um, did I mention I ate an Oreo BEFORE 10 A.M.?

There’s also this passage from the interview, in which Campbell explains that Brady doesn’t eat sugar, flour, MSG, tomatoes, mushrooms, eggplant, or [enter anything even remotely appetizing here]:

No white sugar. No white flour. No MSG. I’ll use raw olive oil, but I never cook with olive oil. I only cook with coconut oil. Fats like canola oil turn into trans fats. ... I use Himalayan pink salt as the sodium. I never use iodized salt.

[Tom] doesn’t eat nightshades, because they’re not anti-inflammatory. So no tomatoes, peppers, mushrooms, or eggplants. Tomatoes trickle in every now and then, but just maybe once a month. I’m very cautious about tomatoes. They cause inflammation.

What else? No coffee. No caffeine. No fungus. No dairy.

The kids eat fruit. Tom, not so much. He will eat bananas in a smoothie. But otherwise, he prefers not to eat fruits.

Campbell also says something like my cereal would be a HUGE no-no in the Brady household:

It’s very different than a traditional American diet. But if you just eat sugar and carbs—which a lot of people do—your body is so acidic, and that causes disease. Tom recently outed Frosted Flakes and Coca-Cola on WEEI. I love that he did that. Sugar is the death of people.

Oh, and it isn’t just Tom and Gisele that are making the rest of us look bad with their diets, either. Noooooo. According to Campbell, their kids are on strict diets, too. As in, they probably don’t even know what the word “Oreo” means:

Yesterday I made veggie sushi for the kids. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. It’s brown rice, avocado, carrot, and cucumber. The kids like [it] maki-style, so the rice is on the outside. And I do it with a ponzu sauce, which is uzu and tamari. [I use] tamari because we stick to gluten free for everything.

For snacks, I make fruit rolls from bananas, pineapple, and spirulina. Spirulina is an algae. It’s a super fruit. I dehydrate it. I dehydrate a lot of things. I have three dehydrators in their kitchen. I also make raw granola and raw chocolate chip cookies.


Brady’s diet obviously works. He’s been playing in the NFL for more than 15 years now and is still going strong at 38. So good for him. Keep eating healthy! Someone around here has to, right?

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