When the dust settles on this whole situation, the 12 Essendon players, and 5 ex-Bombers now at other clubs, will still be sitting on the sidelines. The appeals process will take weeks and maybe months to be resolved, and if unsuccessful, will still leave the players with nothing to do until mid-November.

What do these guys do? It seems donning costumes and fake names to run out on the field in round one is the sort of thing the AFL will likely have a problem with. Our advice to everyone else is pretty clear though; if you're on Xbox Live and come up against "WatsonEFC_4" or "BomberHeppell21", just quit. It doesn't matter what you're playing,  you know those dudes will have put in the time and will almost certainly be unbeatable.