Embarrassment is an essential element of sports. Sports needs embarrassment. If our sports heroes weren't out here Buttfumbling and getting sent to The Crossroads by LeBron James, how could we identify with them? We as fans need the untimely slips, dropped passes, and alley-oop baptisms if only to be able to see some of ourselves in this group of freakishly-gifted millionaires.
In the NBA, embarrassment comes in many forms. There's losing, of course (shoutout to the Sixers), but the game's inherent individualism allows room for players to be embarrassed for any number of reasons that don't involve the final score. The most popular way to shame yourself on an NBA floor—getting dunked on—is an old stand-by that we all love and appreciate. Timofey Mozgov getting eaten by Blake Griffin? Shawn Kemp squat-pointing at Alton Lister after dunking on his entire family lineage? Vince Carter hurdling over that French guy in the 2000 Olympics? Dude's current Wikipedia page still has a section dedicated to getting disrespected on that play.
Yet, although dunking remains the most popular means of embarrassing an opponent, our personal favorite these days is the ankle-breaker. Nearly every NBA-caliber athlete can catch a drop-off pass and dunk on a defender slow to rotate on defense; not every player can get their man off-balance and make him Nae Nae backwards while they splash a jumper in his face. These plays offer more complexity and variation than dunks. Dunks are like a can of domestic beer. Ankle-breakers are more like a carefully-aged bottle of wine.
Which is why we had to make a list of the year's best, from Boogie Cousins' big-man crossover to Steph Curry the Gawd making Chris Paul play hardwood Twister. It's been a fun year. These are The Most Embarrassing Ankle-Breakers of 2015.
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20. DeMarcus Cousins on Nene
Game: Wizards at Kings
Date: March 22
19. Alexey Shved on Harrison Barnes
Game: Warriors at Rockets
Date: January 21
18. Deron Williams on DeMarre Carroll
Game: Raptors at Nets
Date: April 27
17. Andre Iguodala on Matthew Dellavedova
Game: Warriors at Cavaliers
Date: February 26
16. Isaiah Canaan on Jarrett Jack
Game: Nets at 76ers
Date: March 14
15. Mike Conley on Eric Bledsoe
Game: Grizzlies at Suns
Date: February 2
14. Nick Young on Steve Blake
Game: Lakers at Blazers
Date: February 11
13. Rudy Gay takes on Kevin Seraphin
Game: Wizards at Kings
Date: March 22
12. J.R. Smith on Paul George
Game: Pacers at Cavaliers
Date: October 16
11. D’Angelo Russell on Jarrett Jack
Game: Lakers at Nets
Date: November 7
10. J.R. Smith on Brandon Knight
Game: Suns at Cavaliers
Date: March
9. Andre Miller on Nerlens Noel
Game: 76ers at Kings
Date: March 25
8. Dwight Buycks on Gary Harris
Game: Lakers at Nuggets
Date: April 8
7. C.J. McCollum on Dirk Nowitzki
Game: Mavericks at Blazers
Date: December 1, 2015
Ankle injury: Severe sprain
Embarrassment level: You've become a crying Jordan meme.
Two things right up front: 1) Dirk Nowitzki was never exactly Tony Allen out there, even when he was in his prime. 2) Dirk Nowitzki is 37 years old. Plus, he ran his first circle even before switching over onto C.J. McCollum which, in hindsight, was a terrible idea. But hell, even he knew that. —Russ Bengtson
6. Chandler Parsons on Ryan Kelly
Game: Mavericks at Lakers
Date: March 8
5. Lance Stephenson on Anthony Tolliver
Game: Hornets at Pistons
Date: March 8
4. Patrick Beverley on Goran Dragic
Game: Rockets at Heat
Date: November 1
3. Steph Curry on Courtney Lee
Game: Warriors at Grizzlies
Date: May 16
2. James Harden on Ricky Rubio
Game: Timberwolves at Rockets
Date: February 23
1. Steph Curry on Chris Paul
Game: Warriors at Clippers
Date: March 31