Everything You Need to Know Before the Women’s World Cup Final

Here's a quick primer with everything you need to know before the USA-Japan Women's World Cup final.

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Complex Original

Image via Complex Original

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Listen up, America. It’s time to get behind your team.

The U.S. Women’s National Team is about to play in the World Cup final on this very same weekend in which our nation celebrates its 239th birthday. After a day of embracing your American-ness and getting whipped into a patriotic frenzy, you can avoid a post-nationalistic hangover by indulging in America’s newest favorite pastime: soccer.

This isn’t just any game though; it’s a championship game. Basically, that means that even if you haven’t watched a second of the World Cup or even if you despise soccer to your very core, as an American it is your obligation to watch our women take on a team that has been their nemesis of late on the international stage: Japan.

This match will be a rematch of the 2011 World Cup final, which ended with the Japanese handing the Americans an agonizing loss on penalty kicks (please, whatever you do, don’t call them “penalty shots”). The good ol’ U-S-of-A turned the tables on Japan in the 2012 Olympics, winning the gold medal with a 2-1 victory on the strength of a pair of goals from Carli Lloyd.

And this weekend, we shall settle once and for all just who is the superior soccer nation. And while we all know it’s going to be the Americans who (as always) come out on top, we still owe it to the defensively-dominant USWNT to show our support across the nation.

So read on, temporary soccer fans. We have amassed here everything you need to know about the American team and their World Cup journey so far, and you can now attend any viewing party you like and at least sound like you know what you’re talking about. Here’s Everything You Need to Know Before the Women’s World Cup Final.

Who did we beat to get here?

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After an up-and-down group stage that saw the U.S. face significant criticism for the uninspiring manner in which they won two games and drew a third, they have made significant strides in the knockout round. A somewhat ugly to watch 2-0 win over Colombia in the Round of 16 led to a more tactically ambitious 1-0 quarterfinal victory over China. This all led to Tuesday night’s semifinal, a game in which the Americans (No. 2 in the FIFA world rankings) upended Germany, the No. 1 ranked team by FIFA. The U.S. outplayed Germany for much of the game, but really the difference between the two sides was best encapsulated by simple penalty kick execution.

Germany did this:

And the Americans did this:

What is this I keep hearing about our defense?

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Is Abby Wambach still the best player, or is it Alex Morgan?

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Um, this is kind of awkward…the answer is neither. Wambach is 35 years old, playing in her final World Cup, and has struggled a bit on the field. Coach Jill Ellis has chosen to deploy her off the bench over the last couple games to great effect, and that’s undoubtedly where the Americans’ all-time leading scorer will find herself for the Final. She’s still a prolific header of the ball and a game-changing offensive weapon at times, but she’s now merely a situational player. This botched penalty against Colombia kind of sums up where she’s at right now:

Morgan has had a tough time getting going this tournament, although her play up top has actually been far better than her one goal and zero assists would indicate. She has also drawn two penalty kicks and constantly occupies the attention of multiple defenders, creating space for her teammates especially on the wings. She also barely played in the run up to the tournament and missed all but 23 minutes of the first two World Cup games as she recovered from a knee injury, so some rust is expected.

So who is the best player, you may ask? That’s a tough question, especially because the team is playing so well as a unit. Right now, if we had to pick an individual, it would probably be outside midfielder Megan Rapinoe. She has been tremendous all tournament at both setting up teammates and putting the ball in the back of the net herself, despite missing the China game due to suspension. As perhaps the team's most creative player, she was a big part of the improved U.S. attack against the Germans.

Is this the proper way to celebrate a win?

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Don't we win, like, every World Cup?

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Is Japan actually any good?

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Well, they’re in the World Cup final, so yes. But it’s not exactly like they’ve dominated en route to this ultimate game. They have yet to win by more than a one goal margin, and despite their dominance in possession have relied on late goals and good fortune to get wins. And, really, they’re arguably only in the final by the grace of dumb luck in their semifinal victory over England.

First, there was this “penalty” call despite the fact that the foul clearly occurred outside the box:

And then this, a stoppage time “winner” that will go down as one of the most agonizing own goals in the history of the sport:

So while any team that goes 6-0-0 in their six matches should be taken very seriously, there’s no reason this Japan team should have you too worried.

What does Landon Donovan think of all this?

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Glad you asked! Any time Donovan can take a shot Jurgen Klinsmann—his former coach for the U.S. Men’s National Team who famously cut Donovan right before last summer’s World Cup—he’s going to go for it. This time, he unleashed perhaps the subtweet of the century during the late stages of the United States' semifinal win over Germany, but it was not a tweet sent without consequence. Fox commentator Alexi Lalas took notice, and fired back with a far less oblique tweet of his own:

Ah, who doesn’t love a good old fashioned Twitter gutter war? Stay tuned for a possible sequel during the final.

Is Sepp Blatter going to be there?

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You mean this guy?

The leader some people have compared to Abraham Lincoln, Nelson Mandela, Moses, and/or Jesus? The man who actually, seriously said:


“Let the women play in more feminine clothes like they do in volleyball. They could, for example, have tighter shorts. Female players are pretty, if you excuse me for saying so, and they already have some different rules to men – such as playing with a lighter ball. That decision was taken to create a more female aesthetic, so why not do it in fashion?”

No, even though he has presented the trophy at every tournament since he has been President of FIFA/everybody, he won’t be there. He swears it isn’t because he fears he will be arrested. It’s only because of “personal reasons.”

Feel better, Sepp. We'll miss you.

What names can I drop to make diehard fans think I know what I'm talking about?

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What's the deal with the US coach? Who is she?

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Wait, are they playing on turf?

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Are we going to win?

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