Name: Jerome Breland
Year: 2000
Sport: Football

Sick of his son being bullied by a 12-year-old teammate, Jerome Breland did what any parent would dohe poisoned him. Breland did so by adding ipecac to a water bottle and then encouraged his son to give it to the troublesome colleague at practice (Note: this is the same stuff that killed the female half of The Carpenters). If his plan went off without a hitch, Breland would've induced vomiting in said teammate. If it went off with a hitch, Breland would've accidentally killed a kid. Some of you may ask if that risk was worth the reward, but clearly Breland thought it was. And his opinion is the only one that matters.

At first the plan was a rousing success, as the dopey kid naively drank from the bottle without even beginning to suspect somebody's father had poisoned it. But not long after, other kids on the team began drinking from the same bottle. It reads like a twist in a sitcom but was, in actuality, a crime turning more serious every time the drink switched hands. At that point practice had to be canceled, because it's hard to keep going when eight of your players are being frantically rushed to the hospital. It didn't take long to figure out what Breland had done because obviously the guy's not exactly a criminal mastermind. His sentence was six months house arrest and a year of community service.