15 Life Lessons Learned From Manny Pacquiao's Instagram Feed

Image via Complex Original

You see two terms when Lil Wayne closes his eyelids: “Fear” and “God.” Yes, Weezy's eyelids synopsizes Pacquiao's way of life. Basically the concept here is that even though your opponent is a defensive specialist who's beaten everything in his path, the only thing you should be concerned about is the man upstairs. If Mayweather is just work, so is everything is in your way. Bouncer at St. Mark's ain't letting the homies in and you gotta press him for being a dick? Lightwork. Bro is throwing too many elbows for “Know Yourself” in a crowded club, and it gets so bad that you gotta check him before your girl catches one? Light. If The Man got you, you're good.

You always see these training commercials where the main character is sweating profusely as he trains in solitude. It could be that he's training at impossibly early hours or just nobody likes him as a person. Who knows? You should avoid being that dude when you can, though. Great people often have great teams behind them.

Pacquiao says the gentlemen you see in the photo are hired, but they all seem pretty tight. They're at least tight enough to be all smiles while grabbing Pacquiao's enormous calfs. They trust each other, so here's a suggestion: Just let homies massage you. Think about it. Would you rather let a stranger help relax your muscles before the biggest fight of your career or someone you can trust? Let the bro ease those muscles. It's only as awkward as you make it.

Sometimes you get your girl a nice bouquet of flowers and she's all like, “Mhm. I wonder how many other girls you gave this to.” You gotta be like, “Well, boo, how many other girls did I take like five selfies with holding that same bouquet of flowers before posting each of them on Instagram.” You're pretty much golden after that.

You don't have to get supple honey bbq wings served to you by attractive women in figure-flaunting uniforms. They don't love you. The homies are the ultimate birthday gift.

Think about it: The essential function of frontin' is to put up a front to avoid something potentially harmful from being exposed. In other words, he has some vulnerability to hide. You don't, so you inherently have the upper hand. Your opponent obviously has something to worry about, so you relax.

Kanye West didn't score 100 on disabled kids. The creator of Kermit The Frog did not say, “Black people ruin everything.” The Earth did not experience six days of darkness. Do ya Googles.

You should live your life like that plastic bag scene from American Beauty. You'll be stressed less, increasing your chances of living longer than Kevin Spacey's character did.

This is kind of like the Eminem trick: Your opponent can't use your shortcomings against you if you acknowledge them and throw them out there. Everybody knows Pacquiao went to sleep; it's one of those things where you remember where you were when it happened. But for Pacquiao, the fail is part of his motivation. This is why he's still great.

It's like new alphets, except one that breathes and blinks and stuff.

You have to pay homage, man. (Side note: Jay Electronica's debut and Manny Pacquiao and Bob Dylan's missing collaboration track to light up the streets may be among world's biggest tragedies.)

Ashanti literally just said “baby” seven times on a hook and turned that shit into a hit. She's a queen and must be protected at all cost.

This should come with no questions. Hype Williams gave you some of the best hip-hop videos of all time and the opening of Belly. Yes, the little time you have is important. But ask yourself this: Is it more important than the “Mo Money Mo Problems” video?

Try to leave the copious amounts of cocaine out of it. I mean, yeah, it doubles as a Mario Invincibility Star when you're getting shot. To that point, don't put yourself in situations where you could get shot. Doesn't really do too much good for anybody.

PACQUIAO MIXTAPE NAMES. GO!:

 The M. Pac Collection

Caught It 4rom Marquez

Da Bout 3

Back From Unconsciousness

Pac Muzik

Pac Wuz Here

What The Fuck Is A Ang Pambansang Kamao?