5 Sports Apology Letters We Would've Preferred To See Instead of A-Rod's

Yesterday, infamous Yankee and all-world weirdo Alex Rodriguez released an apology letter to fans of the Bronx Bombers. In the handwritten note, A-Rod very briefly takes "full responsibility" for his suspension due to PED's last season and says "I'm sorry" to Major League Baseball, his team, the owner, and the Player's Association as well. For such a short letter, there was a lot to apologize for.

While we enjoyed reading his letter, making fun of it, and breaking it down with a professional handwriting expert, we were still left feeling empty. Why is it only Alex Rodriguez penning apology letters? Aren't there countless other sports personalities who have things to be sorry for?

Yes.

From Pete Carroll finally owning up to his Super Bowl XLIX play calling to Roger Goodell speaking directly to the fans, these are 5 Sports Apology Letters We Would've Preferred To See Over A-Rod's.

To Seattle,

I take full partial responsibility for the mistakes that led to our loss in Super Bowl XLIX. I regret that my decision to put the ball in Russell's hands led to a known cheater and his Ugg-loving pretty boy winning another championship. Like the title of my book, I was simply trying to put Russ in a position to 'Win Forever'. Nobody wanted to see Marshawn grabbing his balls while holding an MVP trophy. 

To the 12th Man and everybody else who hates the Patriots, I can only say I'm sorry. Also 9/11 was an inside job and jet fuel can't melt steel. Go Hawks.

-Pete Carroll

To Knicks Fans,

I take full responsibility for the mistakes that led to our pathetic 2014-2015 season. I regret that my triangle wasn't as effective with Shane Larkin and Lou Amundson as it was Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and Shaq. Some say it's a product of our lack of talent, but I'm convinced our players are simply not being present enough in each moment. I'm beginning to think Jason Smith didn't even read the copy of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance I gave him in October. To New York, Carmelo Anthony, JD and the ENTIRE Straight Shot, I can only say I'm sorry.

-Phil Jackson

To the Fans (of the NFL),

I take full responsibility for the mistakes that led to our League becoming a haven for drunk-driving domestic abusers with drug problems and permanent brain injuries. If it makes you feel any better, I only made $35 Million in 2013...a full $9 less than previously reported. If that doesn't make you feel better, well, suck it. You're addicted to my violent and morally despicable product and won't stop watching until we are forced by law to stop giving people irreversible degenerative brain diseases. 

Again, suck it. Sorry I'm not sorry.

-Roger "Money" Goodell

To LeBron James,

I was wide open, breh. WIDE open. I demand an apology. Even though y'all shipped me to OKC and I'm happy to not be playing next to a selfish phony with a drop-top hairline like you, some wounds may never fully heal. Do you remember this?

[doodle of open Dion Waiters demanding ball from LeBron]

What part of frantically calling for the ball did you not understand? I hope you soon take full responsibility for the mistakes you've made.

-Dion Waiters

PS - KD better than you, bro.

To the Media,

I take full responsibility for my harsh words towards you guys that led to all of you getting butt-hurt and defensive. I regret saying you don't know shit about basketball. In fact, you are all experts in basketball in a way I'll never be. "The 20 Best Sneakers Worn During the NBA All-Star Game"? "10 GIFs That Prove Kevin Durant Doesn't Like Russell Westbrook"? You're obviously all very gifted wordsmiths who deserve my respect and appreciation. 

Sorry I disrespected your ability to sell negative stories and/or lists to the poorly-informed public. My bad(dest).

-Kevin Durant