Meet Faux Doadles. 

Oh, and while we're at it, we should probably introduce you to Quisperny G'Dunzoid Sr. 

And you'll probably want to meet Legume Duprix, too.

Can't forget about this relative nobody, either:

These men and more were the stars of Key & Peele's third annual East West Bowl 3: Pro Edition, an obviously fictional All-Star game conceived by the Comedy Central duo in partnership with some good-natured NFL players. To learn more about the names and faces of this year's completely imaginary exhibition, watch the video above.

Send all complaints, compliments, and tips to sportstips@complex.com.