Under the pen name "Lacey Noonan," an author—nay, an American hero—recently penned one of the greatest works of fan fiction we here at Complex Sports had ever seen. Titled A Gronking To Remember, the novel centers around the sexual escapades of Patriots Pro Bowl tight end and All-World party boy Rob Gronkowski. It features steamy scenes of self-gratification, cuckolded husbands/Jets fans butt-fumbling in the bedroom, and—of course—one thunderous ecstacy-inducing Gronk spike into the protagonist's butthole.

We're talking highbrow shit here. 

Unfortunately, only six days ago, Amazon decided to pull the book off its digital shelves. The Internet retailer cited the cover's inappropriate use of the Patriots' "MHK" tribute patch which was sewn onto the team's jerseys following the death of Myra Kraft, wife of team owner Robert Kraft. To that end, we completely understand why the New England Patriots might not want that patch to appear on the cover of a book that features details about a player's "stone pillar of a cock." But what about the people? What about our needs? What about those of us who feel incomplete having never thumbed through the X-rated exploits of a lonely wife who gets off on Gronk touchdowns?

Well, we've come up with a solution. With A Gronking To Remember off the shelves for the foreseeable future, we searched long and hard and found a number of other sports fan fiction novels with equally sexually explicit content. Didn't think it could get any more absurd than A Gronking To Remember? Hah! Here are 5 Sports Fan Fiction Novels We Didn't Know We Needed.