Hey, you know what's absolutely not funny right now? Jokes about CIA torture programs that displaced and dehumanized over 100 people throughout George W. Bush's presidency. Unfortunately, former Chicago Bears defensive tackle Dan Hampton—he a Hall of Famer who now sits at the desk for NBC's local Chicago station—didn't get the memo. While discussing the deeply fragmented state of the Chicago Bears yesterday, Hampton tried to lighten up the proceedings with a joke about waterboarding, the inhumane torture practice designed to mimic the terrifying and physically upsetting sensation of drowning. What could wrong here? A lot.
Speaking on the recent scandal within the organization about Bears offensive coordinator Aaron Kromer speaking ill of quarterback Jay Cutler to the media, Hampton criticized Bears head coach Marc Trestman for failing to take any action against Kromer:
"I think we need to go further," Hampton said. "I think it's time we waterboard all these coaches and figure out exactly what they're saying about all the players. Now, we'll get to the bottom of it. Hey, by the way: waterboard [Bears defensive coordinator] Mel Tucker and see if he knows how to line-up in a 4-3 and stop anybody!"
Hampton then sat back with a self-satisfied grin as his co-hosts mercifully steered the conversation elsewhere. Thankfully, the segment was cut short before he could entertain us with his thoughts on rectal feeding and read-option offenses.