10 Reasons Why You Should R-E-L-A-X About Your Fantasy Football Woes

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Look, your team is obviously one of the five most important things in your life. It’s your baby, and when your baby has a problem, you want to discuss it with anyone who will listen. Please, for everybody’s sake, resist this temptation. No matter how much you think people care about how the struggles of Larry Fitzgerald and the Seahawks defense have totally screwed you over, there’s not a person in the world—fantasy football player or otherwise—who actually wants to listen to you complain. It’s a good reminder, too, that the inner workings of your fantasy are literally some of the most trivial problems in the entire world.

It may feel like a lot of doom and gloom now, but if you’re feeling like you’re totally out of it just look at the NFL calendar. The season is only halfway over, and a lot can change over the final eight weeks. Sure, if you’re sporting a 1-7 record then that might not be enough, but for most people a turnaround can happen anywhere and at any time. All it takes is a few good start/sit decisions, a shrewd waiver pickup, and a healthy dose of luck and boom, you’re right back in the thick of the playoff race.

It’s not a crime to watch football purely for football’s sake. Now that things have gone awry for you and your fantasy team, you can return to a simpler time when you watched games purely for the play on the field. You no longer have to fret about the implications of this pick-six or that 50-yard touchdown run; you can just kick your feet up, put the iPad down, and simply enjoy the action for what it is. It may be a fleeting happiness before you get that fantasy itch again, but it should serve as a reminder that there actually was football before fantasy even existed.

One of the unsavory side effects of fantasy is that it can force you into some very uncomfortable situations as a fan. You may be a Steelers diehard, but what happens if Joe Flacco is your fantasy quarterback? All of a sudden you find yourself cheering for your biggest rival to potentially hurt your own favorite team. It flies in the face of everything that your elders taught you about supporting your squad to the bitter end, and forces you to make a choice that you’ll be unhappy with one way or another. When your fantasy team is terrible, however, you can simply ignore its existence and avoid having to cheer on all the teams and players you have come to loathe.

To be done properly, fantasy football is a pretty time-consuming hobby. The research, reading, waiver wire monitoring, and roster tinkering all add up to a lot of lonely hours in front of a computer screen, and could even cause some strain in your relationships with real human beings. The good news, though, is that if your team is still struggling despite your best efforts, then you clearly need to change up your researching habits. You can take this opportunity to spend less time weighing the merits of Darren Sproles versus Zac Stacy and more time enjoying healthy, normal conversations with your friends and loved ones. They’ll appreciate having you back in their lives, and this time away really won’t make your team any worse.

Did you know that, at any given time, there are millions upon millions of books you could be reading that don’t mention the importance of having a defense with touchdown-scoring ability? Or that there are magazines that feature stories on world issues and not on the merits of PPR vs. non-PPR scoring? It’s true! And since all the fantasy-related reading you’ve done has not made any difference whatsoever, you can actually check out some of these highly edifying reads that you’ve been ignoring since the early summer. You’ll be so glad you did, and who knows, maybe The Art of War has some lessons you can apply for the second half of your season.

One common thread linking all fantasy owners is their unflinching belief in themselves and their ability to make a few shrewd moves to get them right back in contention. Undoubtedly, you probably feel the same way. So even though your team may be down now, you probably aren’t even sweating it that much. After all, there are a couple of suckers in every league. All you need to do is poach a couple of their best players and you’ll be good to go, right? Of course, if you’re thinking that you play in a league that doesn’t have any suckers, then guess what? You are the sucker.

One of the hazards of playing fantasy football is the strain it can put on friendships. All the banter between your buddies and you is OK when your team is winning games. When you’re already down, though, it’s easy to get sensitive. A taunt, low-ball trade offer, or seemingly innocuous observation is liable to set you off, and that means a lot of spats with your friends get conjured basically out of nothing. If you vow to relax and care a little bit less, though, all of a sudden you’ll find yourself feeling very much above such petty nonsense. And that is going to make you much happier in both the short and long term.

When you invest a ton of time, energy, and effort into your team, it’s natural for it to feel a little bit too much like your thing. But the reality is that it’s not. No matter how much of your life you devote to getting your team set just right and to watching them on game day, your actions have literally no impact on the final result. You’re not a coach, and screaming at the TV when something doesn’t go your way isn’t going to accomplish anything. It may be easier said than done, but it would be good for your blood pressure if you sat back and let the chips fall where they may.

You know how it feels like when every year somebody else gets really lucky and wins your league? And at the beginning of every season you wonder if maybe this is your year to be that guy, only it never is? Everybody has been there. And you know what? You more than likely never will be that guy, and that’s OK. While there’s no sufficient data to back up this claim, it sure feels like the people who care the most about fantasy football almost never win their leagues. And you probably care just a little too much, read a little too much, and tinker a little too much to be able to win. Just sit back, R-E-L-A-X, and hope for a respectable .500 record.