Sport: Soccer

Roy Hodgson and Sepp Blatter would make great lunch buddies for each other. Hodgson is the King of Arcane soccer tactics. The game has passed him by so drastically that you almost feel sorry for him. Like when grandpa gets so old he starts confusing salt and sugar but you don’t say shit while eating his salty-ass pancakes cause you respect the dude.

EXCEPT, Hodgson is a delusional old man who manages ENGLAND, so nobody goddamn cares about whether or not Hodgson wears Pampers regularly. He took a legitimately bright and talented England team and marginalized their abilities to lead England to their worst World Cup finish since 1958. He’s too stubborn to change and adapt to how the game works in 2014, and is on-record calling criticism of his methodology as “fucking bollocks.” Who knew that grandpa could be kind of an asshole?