Sport: Football

Where to begin with Ray Rice? He never apologized for viciously striking his now-wife, but Janay Palmer Rice has apologized for “her role” in the incident. He lied to his teammates over the details of it all, choosing to downplay what he did to save face. And now he’s trying to appeal his indefinite NFL suspension because he claims it was handed down on the basis of an edited video.

Please Ray Rice—please explain to us how an extended cut of that infamous elevator tape can possibly redeem your actions enough to warrant reinstatement. The world doesn’t need to see what may or may not have happened in the lead up to the punch, and we definitely don’t need to know where else you may or may not have decided to drag her unconscious body. There’s no plausible justification out there for this monster.