Today marks the first Sunday of the NFL Season, and while the majority of the country will be locked in for hours watching their favorite teams and checking fantasy scores, there are some among us with far bigger concerns. Concerns like curbing the dangerous national obesity epidemic and preventing Ray J from ever releasing new music.

That brings us to Johnny Manziel, who proves that even though his in-game influence may only extend to giving Gatorade flavor suggestions to Browns current starter Brian Hoyer, his influence over the greater world around him goes far beyond that. Think the failure of the government's Healthcare website was Obama's fault or that the flaming-faucet horrors of hydraulic fracking are solely to blame on Natural Gas companies' greed? Think again. These are the Six Degrees of Johnny Manziel's Evil Influence.