Sport: Soccer
Criminal History: Running a brothel, car theft, counterfeiting, smuggling pornography, disorderly conduct
Time Behind Bars: Three years

The Arsenal footballer struggled to adjust in his life beyond soccer. After his retirement, Storey was fined for running a brothel. Then, he was convicted of smuggling pornography in the tire of his jeep. Wait, what? That's a thing? Smuggling porn from Europe in a spare tire is a crime? Anyway, we'd like to give Storey a pass until he was arrested again, this time for car theft and counterfeiting gold coins. Dude's got range.