A dude crashed his car. It happens all the time, and we usually don't report on it, unless said dude was as unrepentantly proud of his 15 bag a day heroin habit as Tyler Renton of Richmond, MA. A homeowner noticed two guys in a car on her lawn, and when she asked them to move the passenger said they couldn't because Renton was passed out. When he woke up, he smashed into the woman's trash cans and flung garbage across the street and a neighbors lawn, before making his way to another lawn and passing out there. That homeowner claims he was "unable to speak or function normally."

Later that evening Renton drove off of the road into a tree, uprooting it, and came to rest in a ditch. He was taken to the hospital, where he told an ER technician that it was "best day of [his] life" and that it could only be topped if he was "riding a 12 point unicorn." He also told the medical staff that he has a 15 bag a day habit, and would "shoot up anything." It was recommended that he consider a methadone clinic, to which he responded "I will never do methadone. Meth is for quitters."

We predict the judge won't be so amused by this.

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[via Berkshire Eagle