Applies to: Boston Celtics
Losing: Jason Terry, Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce and Doc Rivers; while gaining Kris Humphries, Kelly Olynyk and Gerald Wallace...at least Beantown still has three other (solid) major sports teams to follow.
The upside is that the Celtics have nine first rounders over the next five years. The downside is that five years is a long fucking time. Longer if you factor in how long it'll take to develop (and oh, early indicators seem to imply that the brass will let Rondo walk after his contract's up). Many of you will have gotten married, divorced, or accidentally knocked a girl up (and, statistically, some of us will be dead). That means you won't have as much carefree time to sit around watching basketball. At least the original "Big Three" won once. If you want to know how it feels to get there, not finish it off, and still have to rebuild, then refer to our previous slide.