Sport: Swimming
Team: N/A
Hateful lowlight: "Chyeah!"

Being an Olympian requires a great deal of personal sacrifice, so you have to be a real stroke to draw the ire of the very country you're representing. Ryan Lochte's problem is that he embodies the dumb jock stereotype while, simultaneously, cashing in on America's celebutard race to the bottom. His show, What Would Ryan Lochte Do?, is seriously just him doing and saying things that are so dumb that you can't believe he hasn't been hit by a bus while sexting in traffic yet. Though, to be fair, he does spend most of the day starving his brain of oxygen at the bottom of a pool. Perhaps we should be more forgiving.