The 25 Worst Cars for Sale on eBay Right Now

Image via Complex Original

Location: Rushville, IN
Price: Starting bid of $3,900

It's a good thing this is actually a 2005 and not a 2006, like the listing seems to say in one place. 2006 Magnums had a recall because "the vehicle's exhaust recirculation pipe may touch the brake lines causing brake fluid to leak and setting a fire." If this was a 2006, those flames would be in even poorer taste!

Location: Lubbock, TX
Price: Buy It Now for $11,500 or make an offer

The body kit isn't awful, but the graphics and the Lambo doors are. The seller says the graphics are easily removable, though, so that's something.

Location: Grove City, OH
Price: Buy It Now for $3,000

This Raider was born with an identity crisis, having actually been built by Mitsubishi for Dodge. So maybe it's understandable that it now thinks it's a Mercedes AMG-tuned Gelandewagen. The problem is, it's not. You're a Raider, little SUV. Be that, and be it well.

Location: Spring Valley, NY
Price: Starting bid of $200

We love how this Scout seems to be lying in wait for its new owners. It doesn't currently run, but does come with a bunch of extra parts. There's no single full-body shot of this vehicle in the listing. Buy it now before you need a machete to cut it out of those weeds!

Location: Chandler, AZ
Price: Current bid of $1,728

Seller says this is a barn find, and has a new fuel pump and rebuilt carburetor. Considering its age, it doesn't look too bad. But it's still a Yugo, and there's no help for that.

Location: Mansfield, OH
Price: Starting bid of $4,000, or Buy It Now for $5,500

This Enclave has seen life, man. It survived Hurricane Sandy. The seller bought it to take some parts for another Enclave, and is selling the remaining sad lump on to someone else. We're reminded of vultures picking apart mechanical roadkill. Hey, at least this guy is sharing!

Location: Wareham, MA
Price: Buy it Now for $1,850

This car is being sold for parts or restoration. We're pretty sure that duct-taped rear window isn't a part you'll want. The seller does say that all reasonable offers, either for the car as a whole or for parts, will be considered.

Location: Springfield, OH
Price: Current Bid is $3,000, or Buy It Now for $6,995

People usually buy pickups for one of two reasons (if not both): utility, and/or as a showpiece. We can't see how this truck would reasonably do either. Sure, it allegedly gets 70+ MPG, but you're still not hauling anything serious in that bed.

Location: Cochranton, PA
Price: Starting bid of $1,850

While we're sure you dream of owning a Ford Festiva just as much as we do, it's not exactly like they're in short supply. We're sure you can find one in better shape than this, especially since the seller thinks the engine needs rebuilding and that the transmission may also need to be replaced. We have no idea how the seller arrived at this price, but it's good to have dreams.

Location: Westchester County, NY
Price: Current bid of $510 with reserve not yet met

Checker didn't actually make pick-up trucks, but the original owner of this vehicle (not the seller) got rear-ended and decided to put one on. The seller upgraded that pickup bed with a donor bed from a Ford Ranger. We like the idea of turning a car around, but if you're gonna do it, do it. We know that original paint up front will be hard to match, but you could at least try. Or paint the bed a nice contrasting color, like matte black or something. It's the cosmetic dissonance that hurts, here.

Location: High Point, NC
Price: $800

This car has been sitting in one place for at least 20 to 25 years, according to the seller. Also, the seller doesn't know how to get into the trunk without busting out the lock. It also needs an engine, but the seller has some 352s available -- but missing carbs. It'd take a lot of time, money, and love to bring this Galaxie back from the brink of death in the scrap yard.

Location: Round Mountain, CA
Price: Starting bid is $1,000

Seller says a ghost rolled this car over in a low-speed accident, during which it slid down a driveway, hit a huge cedar stump, and flipped over on its roof. You say "ghost," we say "this is why you have an emergency brake, which you should be using anyway since it's a stick."

Location: Whitewright, TX
Price: Current bid of $510

We love it when sellers post photos like this and then go on to say a vehicle has "some rust" in their descriptions. A gift for understatement is at the very top of our list when searching eBay. Nice one, seller.

Location: Dolton, IL
Price: Current bid is $3,600

Seller notes that "only the drivers airbag deployed." Well, that's certainly a relief! Seller also notes that "parts are available on eBay." You don't say. We would never have thought to look there. We also found this cool little unknown coffee shop that you might want to try. It's called Starbucks.

Location: Lone Pine, CA
Price: Starting bid of $2,500

"upon opening trunk found transmission, transaxle,two cv joint looking things, drive shaft four hubcaps, two boxes of parts. seems to be a complete car. glass seems to be in good shape, has seats. four rims and tires that were made in italy." We're sure those tires are in awesome shape by now, too. That fine Italian craftsmanship can almost certainly overcome the effects of age on rubber.

Location: Marietta, OH
Price: Starting bid is $200

This Comet is in no condition to shoot across the sky and bring a burst of light to anyone's life. Why? No floorboards in front, no engine, and no transmission. The body might do you some good if you're building this generation of Comet from the ground up. Might.

Location: Newark, TX
Price: Starting bid of $650

While we realize this seller is just trying to move this Opel GT body, would you be interested in buying anything based on photos like this? According to the listing, the seller has added more photos since the start of the auction. Only a couple are in focus, but they're such extreme close-ups on the body as to render those almost as useless as this one. This seller has to have some friend or relative who can take better pictures and help move this Opel GT body out, right?

Location: Saraland, AL
Price: Current bid is $406 with reserve not yet met. You cannot Buy It Now

If you've always wanted to roll around town inside a bottle of Pepto Bismol, this is the car for you. We chose this photo to show you the true horror of this car's interior, but in exterior shots, you can see that it even has pink brake calipers.

Location: Wausau, WI
Price: Starting bid of $5,500 or Buy It Now for $8,500

This photo is what the seller chose to draw you in and illustrate just how awesome this hot pink and turquoise Gucci tribute Monte Carlo is. The interior -- what we can see of it -- also follows this theme, with both turquoise and hot pink leather in abundance and the Gucci name embroidered into the headrests. It also comes with 26" Mercedes-Benz rims. The real problem is that this color scheme makes us think we're back in preschool.

Location: Horseheads, NY
Price: Current bid of $3,050 with reserve not met. Buy It Now for $18,000

Our kingdom for a moratorium on those ridiculous chrome fender vents. Seriously. The seller mentions a cold air intake, so we hope that hood scoop actually does something other than merely look hideous. Pretend performance mods have always been, and will continue to be, the epitome of "lame."

Location: Norwood, MA
Price: Buy It Now for $19,900

We're not neoclassic car fans. There. We've said it. We like the aesthetics of true classics, not these watered-down renderings. Considering that we're unlikely to own either a neoclassic or a true classic from the era the neoclassics attempt to evoke, we'd at least like something we enjoy looking at. This Tiffany and its other neoclassic friends (like Zimmer) also do another thing we really hate: superfluous parts stuck on for show that don't actually do anything. The exhaust pipes aren't actually routed up that way around the hood, and those aren't actual spare tires. This is the car equivalent of those jeans with the gel pads for the bootyliciously-challenged. No.

Location: Westmont, IL
Price: $74,991, or you can make an offer at this link

You've probably already noticed that this is a Triumph TR6, not an Audi of any stripe. That wasn't a Complex goof. This is the seller's lead photo for this car. All the other photos are of this TR6 as well. While we can appreciate a nicely restored TR6 from a distance, we have no idea how you'd confuse the two -- especially since it's a dealership selling this A8. Oops.

Location: Madison, WI
Price: Buy it Now for $1,995

This is the crew cab from a 2008 Ford F250 SD. Seller says there was no impact, just fire damage. In case you hadn't noticed.

Location: Melbourne, FL
Price: Current bid of $9,200 or Buy It Now for only $350,000!

We can't imagine what kind of douchecanoe drives a "hunting truck" like this. It is, apparently, "the luxury hunting truck of the future." Seriously, what are you hunting with this thing? Humans? Yikes.

Location: San Jose, CA
Price: Buy It Now for $89,000

By "worst," what we really mean is that this is the single best Colbert Show tribute vehicle we've ever seen. Yup.