You'd be much more compelled to go to a Heat game if American Airlines Arena had a "white party" theme during the playoffs and offered sparkler adorned bottles of Grey Goose in the seats. Either you're on a cocaine comedown or just totally indifferent to having one of the NBA's marquee franchises. You look like Guy Fieri. You dress like Enrique Iglesias did 14 years ago. And your girl looks like she might have been hot...14 years ago.