Ultimately, most plutocratic mouthpieces are jackasses. Both Goodell and Stern beat their chests for residing over the most profitable eras of their respective sports, but there’s really just code for passing the buck onto their fans and charging taxpayers to build stadiums. Stern deserves a little bit of credit because basketball needs management because it's not followed with the zeal of football. It requires vision, a direction, and a plan for sustainability that can sometimes make the commissioner unpopular.

The NFL, on the other hand, is a monopoly with an Evangelical following, any dope could run it. Roger Goodell is a basically a thirsty football groupie, Chris Berman with a business card. We’re pretty sure he commissions fines for uniform violations just so Robert Griffin III will notice him. He’s a pathetic corporate shill content to lick the crocodile skin boots of NFL owners and what a fucking year he's having; a pair of lockouts and that fiasco last Monday night. Stern took a quarter of a century to build up his asshole resume and Goodell's about to eclipse him from just the last 13 months. That's it, really. He's a jackass.