Ready to be baffled beyond words?

Jennelle Carrillo burned her ass after she sat on a black marble bench in front of Cowboys Stadium in August of 2010. She suffered third degree burns and needed skin grafts. As a result, she was hospitalized for a week and is now suing the Cowboys for mental anguish, physical pain and disfigurement. She's claiming that the benches should've been covered in the August sun and that the combination of the black marble and the summer heat made the bench in question "extremely hot and unreasonably dangerous"—ya think? She's also saying that the team didn't post warning signs on the benches.

What is wrong with the world today? This lady must be smoking something mighty fine to believe that this pathetic money grab is going to work. How can she not know that the color black conducts heat and why is she filing a lawsuit two years later? Has she ever rode in a car with black leather seats in the summer? We have lots of questions.

One thing is for sure, Jerry Jones ain't letting anybody try to get him for some paper. 

[via The Big Lead]