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We think it's best to let the owner of this BMW speak for himself, as his rendition of what happened when a shirtless douche broke into his car is priceless:

"So last night about 3:30am, my wife wakes me up, "is that your car alarm going off?". It was. It was parked in the driveway, so I look out the window and see nothing out of the ordinary. I disabled the alarm, and the doors unlocked. Then I see some dude with no shirt on get into my car!   I'm thinking "what the fuck". I immediately lock the doors, then double lock/arm. Owned . I tell the wife to call 911, while I go outside and snap a quick cell phone pic of the guy just in case. After the first picture, he started getting pissed off and gave me the finger. I then went into the garage and grabbed my 3lb sledge. I stand next to the driver's door with the sledge in my hand and a very angry look on my face. If he tries to bust his way out of the car, he's getting squashed. The kid is obviously scared shitless, as he doesn't even move or look at me. Cops come and ask how I locked him in the car, and I tell them about the double lock."

Here are our guesses as to what his tattoo means:

  • Crack-fiend
  • Gone in 6,293,759,900 Seconds
  • Don't drop the soap

[via Bimmer Forums]

Related: The 15 Best BMW M Series Cars.