Well, it didn't take long for the big city evils of New York to rub off on Tim Tebow. The Jets' latest acquisition, famed for scrawling Bible verses on his eye black when he played collegiately at Florida, has revealed a shocking new message he plans to wear on his face when he suits up for the J-E-T-S this fall: "All Hail Satan." At a hastily called press conference held in the left bathroom of the venerable New York dive Mars Bar last night, Tebow explained his rationale for making such a jarring change to his squeaky clean Christian image. "I just got tired of that mess, man," he said, sipping casually from a bottle of Wild Turkey. "I'm 24, I look real good in tight clothes, and now I live in the wildest city in the world—you do the math." Asked to clarify that statement, he replied "Let's just say I'm through with that whole virginity thing. Dumbass."

What does this mean for Tebow's vaunted Q rating? And more importantly, with the support of the dark prince of the underworld, can Tebow unseat Mark Sanchez as the Jets' starting quarterback?

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