19. Carles Puyol

Lifespan: 2001-present
Reminds us of: Sideshow Bob.

The rock of Barcelona's backline has never seen a bottle of conditioner he couldn't kick away. Of course, Puyol was married to Spanish model Malena Costa for two years, proving once again that it is great to be a famous soccer player. They clearly didn't split because he was stealing her Pantene.