Grow up, Ezequiel Schelotto. No, really. Grow the eff up. You're 22. You play professional soccer in Italy. And yet, you let your parents come between you and your girlfriend Mariana Diarco?!? If recent reports are true, you broke up with her because your parents deemed her "too sexy." And, to that, we have only one thing to say: ARE YOU $@%#&^* KIDDING US? You, my friend, are an idiot. And a mama's boy. And a...oh, you get the point.

Go Google some photos of Mariana (we'd post more here, but most of 'em are NSFW) and then tell us we're wrong. In fact, we dare you to tell us we're wrong. Spoiler alert: We're not.

[via The Big Lead]

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