1. Michael Olowokandi's Mess

Lifespan: 2004-2006
Reminds Us Of: His career

This shit is just a mess. Everyone else on this list either tried too hard to hold on or be different, but it's abundantly clear that Olowokandi didn't try to do a damn thing. Of course it looks like plenty of things: compost, that pile we keep forgetting to clean out from under our beds, a bunch of spiders having a meeting on his head (Word to Smokey), but it's only fitting that the Kandi Man's hair reminds us most of his career. Bewildering, disappointing, lacking any semblance of effort or direction and ultimately a waste of a pick that needs to be cut.