5. Chris Kaman's IDGAF

Lifespan: 2006
Reminds Us Of: Riff Raff

Unbeknownst to his Clipper teammates, Chris Kaman's German/American dual citizenship is merely a ruse. He spends many of his evenings after home games performing odd jobs for a local transvestite recluse and his summers back on his home planet of Transylvania. Where apparently there are no combs.