Every NBA Fan Is "Every Human Being" (The Happening)
In The Happening, there is a deadly, universal force (caused by "nature," mind you - this is a terrible, terrible movie) that makes humans want to do dumb things like jump off skyscrapers. Or, crash their car into a tree. Or, lay down in a grassy knoll while a gigantic lawnmower tears them to pieces. The reactions by these humans is not unlike what NBA fans experience each hour the lockout rages on. When David Stern and Billy Hunter keep announcing no progress is being made, somewhere a basketball gets stabbed. Or, a net is cut into a million pieces. Or, a chainsaw rips through a backboard. This begs the question: Is the NBA, like "nature," releasing a neurotoxin on its owners, forcing them to be morons? Probably not. But maybe.