First, if you haven't seen it yet, check out the clip above of a man throwing a hot dog at Tiger Woods on Sunday at the Open. Truly, truly bizarre, right? Well, just wait. It gets even weirder. The Santa Rosa Press Democrat was able to track down the guy—a 31-year-old native of Petaluma, Calif. named Brandon Kelly—to ask him exactly what was going through his mind when he got the idea to throw a weiner at Tiger. His excuse? One for the ages.

"I threw the hot dog towards Tiger Woods because I was inspired by the movie, Drive," he said. "As soon as the movie ended, I thought to myself, 'I have to do something courageous and epic. I have to throw a hot dog on the green in front of Tiger.'"

Uh, OKAY?! We've seen the flick and, not for nothing, B, but there weren't any scenes involving hot dogs, assaulting celebrities, or anything even remotely close to what you did on Sunday. Thankfully, though, he seems sorry for what he did and even offered up a few words of encouragement for Tiger.

"I honestly wish Tiger the best," he said. "I hope he breaks Jack Nicklaus' record."

We're sure Tiger doesn't give a flying fuck what you think, buddy. But, thanks for giving us the strangest sports story of the month so far! [via Devil Ball]