3. Bartolo Colon

Birthplace: Altamira
Years: 1997-2009, 2011-present
Team(s): Cleveland Indians, Montreal Expos, Chicago White Sox, Anaheim Angels, Los Angeles Angels, Boston Red Sox, Chicago White Sox, New York Yankees
Record: 161-113
Career Era: 4.09

Before he became one of the more remarkable comeback stories in recent baseball history (*cough*HGH*cough*), Colon was one of the more remarkable fat players in baseball history. He won the Cy Young in '05 for the Angels, and won at least ten games a year for nine seasons between 1998 and 2005, pitching more than 200 innings seven times in the process. He also holds the distinction of being traded for three future All-Stars (Grady Sizemore, Brandon Phillips, Cliff Lee) in the 2002 Omar Minaya-led deal that brought Colon to Montreal for half a season. Crazy, crazy Omar.