Kick It! 5 Reasons To Get Excited About The 2011 MLS Season

Major League Soccer kicks into high gear this weekend. We let you know why you should be watching.

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By Justin Monroe (@40yardsplash)

Major League Soccer2011 MLS seasonAmerica's Funniest Home Videos5 Reasons to Get Excited About the 2011 MLS Season.

5. David Beckham

In four years "with" the L.A. Galaxy, the world's most famous footballer has undoubtedly brought more attention to MLS and sold a shit ton of jerseys for adidas. His stats during that stretch:

-9 goals


-16 assists


-3 injuries that caused him to miss games


-2 offseasons spent training with English Premier League teams (Arsenal in 2008, Tottenham Hotspur in 2011) instead of with Galaxy teammates


-2 offseason loans to Serie A power AC Milan (one of which extended midway into the 2009 MLS season so Becks could impress England coach Fabio Capello and make the 2010 World Cup team)


-1 subsequent beef with L.A. fans and teammate Landon Donovan, who called Beckham out for being a cheap, selfish asshole who didn't care about MLS or his teammates in Grant Wahl's book The Beckham Experiment


-0 MLS Cup championships

In the fifth and final year of his $32.5 million contract with the Galaxy and MLS, the 35-year-old Beckham, who is slowed but remains lethal on crosses and bending free kicks (see above), can be expected to have his finest year. Not because he gives a shit about MLS or the Galaxy, mind you—this is an audition for EPL clubs that might sign him afterwards. We expect he'll deliver, and that tensions might boil over if his eyes are wandering in the middle of an all-or-nothing season for L.A.

Tune in for the soccer magic, stay in case a teammate pimp slaps him.

4. Any Team Can Win the MLS Cup

Unlike other domestic sports leagues and many foreign soccer leagues, where as few as two teams are in the running for the title every year, Major League Soccer has parity. For perennially cellar dwelling Pittsburgh Pirates fans, that means there's an even playing field and your season isn't a wash one month into it.

In the first 15 years of the U.S. soccer league’s existence, 12 of its 16 teams made it to the MLS Cup championship final and nine different teams won the trophy (D.C. United, Chicago Fire, Kansas City Wizards, San Jose Earthquakes, Los Angeles Galaxy, Houston Dynamo, Columbus Crew, Real Salt Lake, and Colorado Rapids—see above). Even with two expansion teams joining the league in 2011, the silver is still up for grabs like Hugh Hefner at a pool party.



MLS parity is due, in part, to a salary cap that prevents big market teams from spending wildly and stockpiling all the talent, but also to a wacky, conference-crossing, 10-team playoff system that can be won by any team that squeezes in (most international leagues are won by simply accumulating the most points—three for a win, one for a draw—over the course of the season).

Seriously, Pirates fans, there are other places besides massage parlors to come up on a happy ending.

3. The Future of U.S. Goal Scoring on Display

Word to Charlie Sheen, the U.S. is a nation of winners. Even though soccer is the 17th most popular sport in this country, right behind donkey-mounted badminton, people want the stars and bars to kick ass when they pay attention.



For years, U.S. fans have overhyped moderately talented attacking players *cough* Freddy Adu *cough* who were supposed to be the second coming of Pele or Maradona and transform America into a world soccer power. Some perspective is needed. That said, THERE ARE SOME YOUNG GUNS IN THE MLS WHO HAVE US REALLY FUCKING EXCITED ABOUT THE FUTURE AND OUR ABILITY TO WIN THE NEXT 10 WORLD CUPS!!!

Two potential U.S. stars to watch as they prove themselves in MLS before likely moving on to better (and better paying) leagues overseas: forwards Juan Agudelo (New York Red Bulls) and Teal Bunbury (Sporting Kansas City). Given their first taste of senior team action in friendlies versus South Africa and Chile, the pair showed fleet feet, poise on the ball, and power. Agudelo, in particular, shined, scoring a sick, record-setting, game-winning goal off a volley against South Africa and drawing the penalty Bunbury converted against Chile (see above).

Oh yeah, and they celebrate by doin' the Dougie. Print the receipt. We're already sold.

2. The Pacific Northwest Rivalry

What would sports be without rivalries fueled by bitter hatred? Gentlemanly contests of physical and mental strength probably. Lame.



In MLS, where many stadiums are still pock-marked with empty seats, truly nasty rivalries are practically non-existent because regional grudges like New York-Philadelphia or New York-New England play out in more popular sports like football and baseball, where fans pack stadiums. That is, until now.



Known for being a generally civil, respectful region, the Pacific Northwest goes apeshit for soccer (see above). An MLS team since 2009, the Seattle Sounders have had, without question, the strongest home support of any team, raucous sell-out crowds that stand and chant for the full 90. In 2011, equally soccer mad rival cities join the fray as the Portland Timbers (formerly of the United Soccer Leagues Division 1) and Vancouver Whitecaps (formerly of the Division 2 Pro League) make their MLS debuts and show the rest of the U.S. how soccer rivalries are supposed to look.



With the Sonics and superstar Kevin Durant stolen relocated to Oklahoma City, killing the I-5 basketball rivalry between Seattle and the Portland Trailblazers, soccer is now the sport to determine superiority in the Northwest. Superiority of activist bike culture, beard length, and coffee strength will be determined separately.

1. Thierry Henry

The New York Red Bulls signed the world famous 33-year-old French forward as a designated player midseason in 2010, and Henry didn't exactly light up the league. Hampered by nagging injuries, the former Arsenal and Barcelona superstar closed the campaign with only two goals and three assists in 12 appearances. But let's be clear: Titi is not David Beckham, a half-committed fading star who's dying to get paid and go home.



Henry, who scored 51 goals in 123 appearances for France from 1997-2010 and helped Les Bleus win the 1998 FIFA World Cup, 2000 UEFA European Football Championship, and 2003 FIFA Confederations Cup, has proven all he needs to on the international level and retired. He isn't plotting ways to get back on with the national side for one last go.



With former RBNY striker Juan Pablo Angel released and now playing with Beckham on the rival L.A. Galaxy, the onus of scoring goals falls squarely on Henry's capable shoulders (above, peep how incompetent he made defenders looks last year). Now that he's had a full offseason to heal and rest and a full preseason to build chemistry with his teammates, including the exciting 18-year-old forward Juan Agudelo, we think he will dazzle.



That's right, our money is on a guy nicknamed Titi to make other dudes look foolish.

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