Complex says: Meet the Twin Towers...of Uncoolness. David's a military man who holds the modern-day NBA record for "Most Consecutive Games Played Without a Shape-Up." Timmy's favorite hobbies include "sword and knife collecting, Dungeons & Dragons, fantasy video games & paintball"—and to that list, we'll add "getting tattoos of jesters and Merlins." Hey, we love these guys, but call

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