Complex NFL Pick 'Em: Week 4 Predictions

SNF) CHICAGO @ NEW YORK GIANTS: "Giants, 14-10. We really need a W. There's a 'Ring of Honor' ceremony at the stadium that night, so hopefully that will light a fire under the offensive and defensive lines."

MNF) NEW ENGLAND @ MIAMI: "New England, 28-10. Brady x Moss show out in prime time. "

SNF) CHICAGO @ NEW YORK GIANTS: "Chicago, 14-10. As long as we slap Jay Cutler around a little after the whistle I can live with it."

MNF) NEW ENGLAND @ MIAMI: "New England, 31-27. A Moss rolling stoned gathers no TDs. I think he's clean now and good for a big game. Better be. He's on my cotdamn fantasy team and has like three catches all year."

4 P.M.) WASHINGTON @ PHILADELPHIA: "Washington, 23-17. I fux hard with Michael Vick like every other non-white, could-give-a-fuck-about-dogs person, but ever since McNabb came to DC, he's been priming for a ginormous 'FUCK YOU' game against the Iggles. Advantage: us. Plus, if we lose this game, I'm jumping off the bandwagon. Like, way off. Sidebar: Why is this not a nationally televised night game?"

SNF) CHICAGO @ NEW YORK GIANTS: "Chicago, 24-10. Whose success makes people more mad, Philip Rivers or Jay Cutler? I tend to like things that make people mad. So...YAY CUTLER!"

MNF) NEW ENGLAND @ MIAMI: "Miami, 34-30. Feels like all the AFC East divisional games will be in the 30s this season. Henne's underrated and Brandon Marshall's gonna go HAM. I hope it rains, too. I like football in the rain."

1 P.M.) NEW YORK JETS @ BUFFALO: "NY Jets, 20-13. Have a feeling it'll be close. Let's see—who are the Bills going to cut after this game?"

SNF) CHICAGO @ NEW YORK GIANTS: "NY Giants, 32-24. Manning > Cutler."

MNF) NEW ENGLAND @ MIAMI: "Miami, 20-17. New England looked sloppy against my Bills last week."

4 P.M.) INDIANAPOLIS @ JACKSONVILLE: "Indianapolis, 34-10. As bad as Jacksonville has been—c'mon, they signed TRENT EDWARDS this week to cover for David Garrard—I can't see this being anything but a Horse bluekkake all over Jack Del Rio. Look for Reggie Wayne to get his domination back after Champ Bailey shut him down last week."

SNF) CHICAGO @ NEW YORK GIANTS: "New York, 21-17. Have you heard? Mike Martz has turned Chicago into contenders again! Except for the small point that Jay Cutler's resurgence has been as genuine as Joe La Puma's sneakers. [Jadakiss laugh] After the NYGz got shellacked by Chris Johnson in the second half last week, they're gonna have something to prove, and they're gonna prove it using Matt Forte. Cutler's only hope is Johnny Knox, but he won't get lucky like he did last week against the Pack (no Lil B)."

MNF) NEW ENGLAND @ MIAMI: "New England, 34-28. That's what you call too much offense against two running backs who just haven't been getting the job done. To steal a joke from my man Justin Monroe, you'd figure with all that sticky-icky, Ricky would at least be able to hold on to the ball. Brandon Marshall shines, but that's about it."

4 P.M.) HOUSTON @ OAKLAND: "Oakland, 26-24. True Raider fan that I am, I simply refuse to give up on this season after Week 3. Now Week 4? That's another story. Look, the Texans are gonna win this game, but it's just goofy to pick against your own team. And if, just if, maybe if...that would be two teams the Raiders will have beaten that Washington lost to. I'll take that."

SNF) CHICAGO @ NEW YORK GIANTS: "Giants, 20-16. How many games have I picked correctly so far? Not many. But the Bears are 3-0 but I don't believe in 'em, so I'm playing a hunch and picking the G-Men. And if they lose, I hope Tiki Barber gets named interim coach after they fire Coughlin."

MNF) NEW ENGLAND @ MIAMI: "New England, 12-2. Miami played in prime time last week, as did Chicago, and the Giants had Sunday night the week before. For those of us who only really watch the night games, this shit is getting real stale. The Dolphins get a safety on the second play of the game, the Pats kick four second quarter field goals and the second half features a combined 37 punts. Yup, sounds about right."

1 P.M.) SAN FRANCISCO @ ATLANTA: "San Francisco, 20-13. 0-4 isn't a good look, and my 9ers aren't gonna let that happen. I hope not anyway...not sure I can take another L."

SNF) CHICAGO @ NEW YORK GIANTS: "New York, 27-24. The Bears can't be 4-0 right? The Giants are at home and they NEED this win."

MNF) NEW ENGLAND @ MIAMI: "Miami, 28-27. Pass the Henne!"