The Race Card: K-Rod

Image via Complex Original

In last week

ISSUE:

New York Mets closer Francisco Rodriguez was arrested and charged with third-degree assault after getting into a altercation with his father-in-law at Citi Field following a Mets loss. Rodriguez tore an arm ligament during the fight and will miss the rest of the season.

WHITEY FORD SAYS: You know those Latins have anger issues because of their fiery jalapeno-like tempers. Calm down, ese—lest we take a closer look at your immigration records.

DARK MAN X SAYS: Whether Latin, white, or black, baseball players definitely lead all other athletes in injury fails.

COMPLEX SAYS: Though somewhat gully and entertaining, this is just the latest L for the Messropolitans.

ISSUE:

Indiana Pacers draft pick Lance Stephenson was arrested for allegedly throwing his girlfriend (who's also the mother of his child) down a flight of stairs and smashing her face on the bottom step.

WHITEY FORD SAYS: Yup, another black brute whose rage goes well beyond the court. Hmmm...it was a sexual assault charge a few years back, now domestic violence—my bet is he'll get caught with a gun and drugs by 2011...if not sooner.

DARK MAN X SAYS: Don't even know where to start with this—innocent until...SMH, why bother. Lance, get your shit together.

COMPLEX SAYS: BROOKLYN! Oh, wait...

ISSUE:

The wife of the slain former NBA player is claiming he left the house that night with drugs he planned on flipping for over $100,000.

DARK MAN X SAYS: Wasn't his ex-wife also a suspect? Sounds like this broad is trying to shit on Wright now that he's unable to defend himself.

WHITEY FORD SAYS: Blacks make the most money in the NBA, yet it's still never enough. How about you learn how to "flip" your salary into legal investments like your white counterparts.

COMPLEX SAYS: Sums it up.

ISSUE:

Bryce Harper reached a deal with the Washington Nationals for $9.9 million over five years. The 17-year-old became the highest-paid position player to come out of the MLB Draft who had not yet become a free agent.

DARK MAN X SAYS: So dude isn't even legal yet and signed for nearly 10 mil, yet whites go into conniption fits over the thought of blacks receiving "gifts" while in college? FOH.

WHITEY FORD SAYS: Good for Bryce. Unlike the NBA, the MLB has a sophisticated developmental league where players prove their worth.

COMPLEX SAYS: Agent Scott Boras inked record-setting deals for Harper, Stephen Strasburg last year, and of course, A-Rod. Forget that fat DJ, all this dude is win.