Seems like the long-rumored "Thierry Henry to Red Bulls" rumor is happening after all. You know what that means...he's old. [NY Daily News]

Lindsay Lohan allegedly mixed it up with a couple of New York Rangers, including legendary puck-bunny-smasher Sean Avery. We bet he'd like to get into that box. [NY Post]

You probably don't need another reason to root for the Suns to beat L.A. (Game 1 tonight!), but add Los Suns' policy on immigration to the list. [The Huffington Post]

Some horse won the Preakness over the weekend. Yawn, who cares. A bunch of people got horsefaced drunk. Show us, show us! [The Big Lead]

Peter King ranks all 32 NFL teams...in May. It's never too early. [SI.com]

German warrior Michael Ballack won't be in World Cup after suffering this ankle-breaker in the FA Cup Final on Saturday. Shoulda been a straight red, in our book. [Dirty Tackle]

Dime counts down the NBA's top 10 crossovers of the season—and no, LeBron going from King to Tin Man isn't on here. [Dime Mag]

Bill Simmons re-upped with ESPN, and speculation is that his contract is in the $15M range. New media FTW! [Deadspin]

If you thought the last "We are the World" remake was an abomination...well—word to Joker—GET A LOAD A' THIS. [Slam]