With the exciting and totally-destined-to-last marriage of Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom happening this Sunday, we here at Complex were saddened over Odom's...let's call it "questionable life choice." Lamar, you got a big new championship ring and a whopping new contract, so what, now you're just trying to supersize everything? Khloe's a lovely person, but you damn sure well know you're taking the L with this one.
Only time (and a potential reality show spin-off?) will tell whether this blessed union will last decades, or simply 'til the playoffs start, but we thought it only fair to present you with a look back to see how other...let's call them "imbalanced romantic commitments" have fared. Scroll on through our 7 Most Lopsided Marriages to see what the hell the rest of these lovebirds were thinking when they said "I do."
COUPLE: Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 16 months so far
WHY IT FAILED: Technically this marriage hasn't failed yet. But we've heard "Bagpipes Over Baghdad" and seen the videos, so let's be honest, wasn't it doomed the minute Nick decided it was a good idea to
eunuch himself get a ginormous "MARIAH" tattoo across his back?
COUPLE: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 2 years, 1 month.
WHY IT FAILED: Who woulda thunk a multigazillionaire pop star would tire of a backup dancer's overzealous sperm and fluctuating weight? Sorry, Brit. Glad the crazy pills are helping get you back on track after this train wreck of a marriage. Alleged. Alleged crazy pills.
COUPLE: Ric Ocasek and Paulina Porizkova
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 20 years and still going strong!
WHY IT FAILED: Look, Ric Ocasek is a talented musician, but it's been scientifically proven that he's at least 40% Crypt Keeper. At least his fidelity is guaranteed!
COUPLE: Drew Barrymore and Tom Green
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 5 months, 10 days
WHY IT FAILED: We liked Drew better once she lost the ol' ball and chain. Too soon?
COUPLE: Jennifer Lopez and Ojani Noa (and Cris Judd)
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 11 months with Ojani. 9 months with Cris.
WHY THEY FAILED: Obviously, both these marriages failed because neither the busboy or the weirdly infantile choreographer has the looks or charm of Marc Anthony. Duh.
COUPLE: Salman Rushdie and Padma Lakshmi
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 3 years
WHY IT FAILED: Nobody wants to marry a grandpa, but we hear his brain is awesome, though.
COUPLE: Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall II
LENGTH OF MARRIAGE: 13 months
WHY IT FAILED: Ummm....he kind of died.