15 Reasons You'll Never Be Too Old To Be A Sneakerhead

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Here's the thing about NBA players (and all sorts of other athletes): there's always new ones coming up to replace the old ones who are moving on. And even if you feel silly sporting a youngster's jersey, you're never too old to wear his shoes.

There once was a time when sneaker history was linear, when a style came out once, was on shelves for a year or so, and then disappeared, never to be seen again. Well, that time is over and done with. Nowadays all sneaker eras co-exist comfortably, with shoes from the '80s sharing shelf space with those from this year. And once a model is gone, you just wait for it to come around again. Even 50 years from now, you'll probably still be able to buy that pair of retros you picked up last year. Stick around.

Technically there's no such thing as time travel - as far as we know - but there is a surefire way to transport yourself into the past: open up a new sneaker box, fold back the paper, and take a deep whiff. Maybe not too deep, unless you want to travel back to Woodstock or something. But in that one instant, that first moment, you can feel like you're 10 again. Why would you ever give that up?

Grown men don't collect sneakers. They collect man things, like cars. Well, they do if they're independently wealthy. A Ferrari F12 has an MSRP of $330,000. A pair of Air Jordan III Retro 88s retailed for $200. You do the math.

The Dow Jones may be reaching new heights these days, but that doesn't mean investments aren't risky. Who knows when the economy will take another dive? While not all sneakers are blue chip, what other investment doubles (or triples, or more) in value the second you buy it? Invest wisely, and you might be able to retire early. Invest poorly, and well, at least you won't have to worry about buying shoes.

Mike just turned 50 this year, and he still wears sneakers. Are you going to tell him he's too old? We're not.

Just think about all that time you spent learning about sneakers. You probably studied harder than you ever did in school. And now you're going to give it all up just because you're too old for it? Why? There's new kids getting into sneakers every single day, and the best way to give back is to help them learn some of the same things you did.

Everyone says it, and what's more, everyone means it. "I just need *insert longed-after pair of sneakers* and I'm done." No you're not. You're never done. Because the thrill is in the hunt, not the sneaker itself, and once you get that one last pair there's going to be another one last pair, and then another, and then another. Like a hobbit once said, the road goes ever on. Something like that anyway.

Sure, you can still play baseball or basketball. You can even play with your childhood heroes, provided you can foot the bill for fantasy camp (and you can miss six weeks of work - one for the camp, and five recovering from a torn achilles or a blown ACL). But there's a far easier (and less expensive) way to relive your youth. Cop another pair of those sneakers you had in sixth grade, and let all those feelings rush back. No surgery required.

Before you had a girlfriend or boyfriend, before you had a car, probably before you had a bike, you had a pair of favorite sneakers. That stays with you. And long after that girl or boy is with someone else, and that car has been towed off to the junkyard, those sneakers are probably still just a click away.

Think about why you got into sneakers in the first place. Maybe it was a pair that you felt made you faster or able to jump higher. Back then it was probably just a feeling, but now companies are actually working on those very things. And let's face it, you probably need all the help you can get.

We're not saying you SHOULD wear sneakers anywhere, but places that actually require hardbottom shoes are few and far between. So if the concern is that you'll have hundreds of pairs of sneakers and noplace to wear them, it's not going to be a problem. Even the President wears sneakers.

If you're seeking vintage pairs of rare sneakers, sure, it's not going to be cheap, but "inexpensive" is a relative term here. A signed Damien Hirst print, for example, will set you back around $7,000. That's a lot of OGs.

Let's say, just for argument's sake, that you were 18 years old when Michael Jordan hit "The Shot." That memory isn't going anywhere. And every time you see a pair of black Air Jordan IVs, from now until you're 100, you're going to experience that same feeling you did when you were 18 and praying for that shot to go down. Well, unless you're Craig Ehlo.

Hef knows.