Wow, you still wear Jordans? I had pair of Jordans when I was literally, like, 2 years old. They were the first ever incarnation of baby Jordans and the ergonomics hadn't quite been ironed out. Back then, baby Jordans weighed approximately the same as a small electric car and were therefore generally unsuitable for baby use. BUT HEY, that didn't stop my neglectful fucking parents shoving those things on my little ass feet. I looked swaggy as hell, but I also didn't start walking until I was four.

These Air Jordan III Retro Wolfies are the first pair of Jordans I've seen in a long time that don't make me feel sick. Don't get me wrong, homie, I'm not going to cop cop, but I saw them and didn't reactively regurgitate, which is nice, I guess.

"But master, what about those Public School joints?" Fuck those Public School joints because you're never, ever going to get them. Give up the ghost. Yeah, sure, they won some CFDA awards, but you know who else got one of those? This fucking guy.

Moksha August is a serial Four Pins commenter turned writer. I guess you could say that he started from the bottom. Haha, that's the spot. You can follow him on Twitter here.