Don't deny Grandma a kiss, or she might shoot up your crib. This past March, when Helen B. Staudinger, a 92-year old woman, developed a crush on her 53-year-old neighbor, Dwight Bettner, she did what we'd expect any well-meaning grandmother to do: she cooked for him.

In return for doing her best Betty Crocker impression, she was given a peck on the lips. But when Staudinger found out that Bettner had a girlfriend, she went to his house to confront him and refused to leave until he kissed her.

When he shot her down, though, she went back to her house and did what any slightly insane grandmother would do: she grabbed her 350 Semi-automatic pistol and started firing at his house. When taken into custody,  Staudinger explained that Bettner was telling her lies and "not paying his way" when they dined out.

Hear that, gentlemen? Take it from Helen: cough it up or get shot up.