Not since Patrick Bateman have we seen a man get as riled up over a business card as New York State Senator Hiram Monserrate. In 2009, Monserrate found a man's business card in his girlfriend's purse and took his anger out on her face, repeatedly slashing her with a piece of broken glass. Post bloody brawl, the disturbed politician was put on trial, and, rather than assisting the prosecutors, his girlfirend, Karla Giraldo, actually defended him. 

When shown a security video in court that clearly showed Monserrate violently pulling her through their hotel lobby, Giraldo maintained that "he was not dragging me," even adding, "He was pulling me for my own good, and thanks to him I’m all right and my face is all right.” And what of her slashed-up face? She claims that she fell on a broken glass. Yeah, because that's entirely conceivable. Giraldo may be lying through her teeth, but one thing's for sure: This pair of nuts is a match made in heaven.