This Week's Most Ratchet Crimes in America

Image via Complex Original

Date: 10/12/2014

Location: Hayden, Idaho

Crime: Battery

Ratchet Meter: 4

Police in Idaho arrested a man for assaulting a woman with a burrito over the weekend.

The Smoking Gun reports 52-year-old Travis Micho hurled the burrito at 40-year-old Claressa Tharp during an argument as she stood across from him at Hayden, Idaho's Harmony House Assisted Living last Sunday. Tharp, an employee at the home, told police that several pieces hit her, though most of it ended up on the wall.

Micho was arrested on battery charges after admitting to the crime.

[via The Smoking Gun]

Date: 10/13/2014

Location: Bay City, Michigan

Crime: Indecent exposure

Ratchet Meter: 9

A daring Michigan man was sentenced to two years probation this week for masturbating while passing through a McDonald's drive-thru last month. Twice.

According to the Bay City Times, 45-year-old Cory D. Peterson placed his order at the Bay City, Mich. restaurant. As the manager turned to give Peterson his change, she noticed him fondling his exposed penis. When relaying her experience to police, the 24-year-old woman said that Peterson told her “Have a nice day” before speeding off.

He returned shortly after, pulling the same stunt on a different female employee, who informed the manager. They managed to keep Peterson in place by telling him that they were waiting on his fries, giving them time to call police. Responding officers found him in his vehicle, pants still unzipped.

The registered sex offender was sentenced to 133 days in jail, but was given credit for time served. In addition to enrolling in a sex offender rehabilitation program, Peterson will have to pay over $1,500 in court fees.

[via Bay City Times and Gawker]

Date: 10/16/2014

Location: Baltimore, Maryland

Crime: Threatening a student

Ratchet Meter: 5

Cell phone video has emerged of a teacher threatening to kill a student during a fight at a Baltimore high school.

According to WBAL, the incident happened at Carver Vocational-Technical High School last Friday after the 17-year-old student allegedly threw something at the teacher as the class took a test. The two exchanged words, and the things quickly escalated. In the video, the teacher can be heard spewing profanities at the student in between threats.

Nikita Jones, the student's aunt, expressed her displeasure with the teacher's actions. “You're supposed to be a role model to these children and you took your shoes off and physically was fighting her like you was outside on the street,” Jones said. However, WBAL noted that one student defended her.

“I don't know,” the unidentified student said. “The student shouldn't have did that, but the teacher wasn't wrong for hitting her back because it was self-defense,” said the student, who didn't want to be identified.”

The teacher was placed on administrative leave, where she will remain while an investigation is carried out.

[via WBAL]

Date: 10/14/2014

Location: Brooksville, Florida

Crime: Criminal mischief and indecent exposure

Ratchet Meter: 7

There are some things you just don't do in a Walmart (or anywhere), like fuck a stuffed animal. This gross act got a Florida man with wanton disregard for his freedom and decency arrested yesterday afternoon.

The Smoking Gun reports that 19-year-old Sean Johnson was seen taking the stuffed animal from the shelf at the Brooksville, Fla. location, then sauntering over to the housewares section where he had sex with it—to completion. Afterwards, he placed the ejaculate-coated stuffed animal on top of a bed and exited the store.

Although Walmart security couldn't corral him, he was caught on camera and eventually apprehended by members of the Brooksville Police Department. Finally feeling remorse, Johnson told police he “[needs] to think before what [he does],” adding that he is “extremely sorry.”

He was charged with criminal mischief and indecent exposure.

[via The Smoking Gun]

Date: 10/10/2014

Location: Fort Lee, New Jersey

Crime: Heroin possession and possessing a false government document

Ratchet Meter: 4

Two men were arrested in New Jersey on Friday after police discovered over 3,000 decks of heroin in their vehicle.

According to CBS New York, police in Bergen County pulled 29-year-old Yeuri Jimenez and 31-year-old Lenny Montero over in Fort Lee, N.J. yesterday morning due to Jimenez's erratic driving. After noticing how nervous both men were, officers elected to search the minivan, eventually finding 3,010 decks of heroin stashed in a hidden trap. Police sources told CBS New York that the drugs were worth upwards of $100,000.

Both Jimenez and Montreo—who hail from the Dominican Republic—face heroin possession charges, while Jimenez faces an additional charge for possessing a false government document. Apparently, he tried pass the cops a bogus Pennsylvania drivers license when they asked for identification.

[via CBS New York]

Date: 10/14/2014

Location: Bay Village, Ohio

Crime: Delinquency, assault, and disorderly conduct

Ratchet Meter: 10

These kids are the worst. Five teenagers have been arrested for tricking an autistic kid into pouring feces, urine, and cigarette butts on himself by telling him he was doing the Ice Bucket Challenge. Three have been charged with delinquency, assault, and disorderly conduct, while the other two are just being charged with disorderly conduct.

The video went viral when the kid's mother saw it and called the police. Drew Carey even came out and offered a $10,000 bounty to find those responsible.

Prosecutor Duane Deskins said the teenagers are all between 14 and 16 and have been known to “engage in distasteful and sophomoric pranks.” He added, “This incident is clearly different. It crossed a moral and legal line, and even the five alleged perpetrators understand that and have expressed regret.”

[via Gawker]

Date: 10/13/2014

Location: Trinity, Texas

Crime: Drug trafficking

Ratchet Meter: 6

The presence of a stark-naked couple in a Texas neighborhood led to the arrest of a meth dealer, authorities say.

The Huffington Post reports that police received a phone call from the residents of a Trinity, Texas neighborhood who reported a naked woman literally streaking through the area, frantically knocking on doors before climbing a tree. As responding officers tried to convince the woman to descend the tree, they received word of a naked man—who happened to be the woman's boyfriend—in the neighborhood.

When police finally corralled the couple, they admitted the obvious (they were high) and explained that were trying to find their dealer. After revealing that they didn't know his name, they were urged by Sheriff Woody Wallace to keep texting him. This resulted in Jacob Walker strolling right into a trap when he arrived to serve the couple meth.

Walker was arrested, while the naked couple was released thanks to their cooperation.

[via Huffington Post]

Date: 10/11/2014

Location: Brooklyn, New York

Crime: Assault

Ratchet Meter: 5

Startling surveillance camera footage depicts a group of teenagers ransacking a store in Brooklyn over the weekend.

According to the New York Daily News, the video shows the teens flocking to the door of Crown Heights' Gourmet Butcher on Saturday night before storming inside. Once inside of the business, they can be seen knocking items from shelves and wreaking general havoc.

CBS New York reports that Gourmet Butcher owner Yanki Klein explained that the crime happened mere hours after he reopened the store, which was closed in observation of the Jewish holiday Sukkot. Klein added that the suspects also attacked his brother during their rampage, punching him in the head.

Though police mentioned that details are sparse, an investigation is ongoing.

[via New York Daily News and CBS New York]

Date: 10/10/2014

Location: Florida

Crime: Misdemeanor death threat

Ratchet Meter: 5

Police in Florida are searching for a man who threatened to kill his wife after she caught him having sex with another woman.

The Smoking Gun reports that 20-year-old Juana Lopez came home Wednesday night to the shocking discovery of her husband sleeping with another woman. In the midst of a heated debate, the unidentified man allegedly threatened to kill her for interrupting his love-making session.

The man fled the home, vowing to injure Lopez when he returned. This prompted Lopez to leave the home with her two children and go to a friend's house, where she contacted deputies with the Manatee County Sheriff's Office.

A warrant has since been issued for her husband's arrest.

[via The Smoking Gun]

Date: 10/12/14

Location: Wasco, California

Crime: Being a clown

Ratchet Meter: 4

So, this is horrifying.

In what seems like a scenario from American Horror Story: Freak Show come to life, a group of incredibly creepy clowns have taken to wandering the streets of Wasco, Calif. late at night. To what end? Nobody really knows.

People are (rightly) calling the cops, but sadly there are no laws on the books preventing people from dressing as clowns. There have not been any reports linking them to criminal activity…yet.

Basically, this is either 1. a brilliant piece of performance art, or 2. the prelude to some sort of horrible crime. There can be no middle ground.

[via Metro]