Preview Review: The Worst and Most Animal Centric Trailers of the Week

Image via Complex Original

Director: Garth Jennings

Genre: Musical Comedy with Animals

Actors: Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon, Seth MacFarlane, John C. Reilly

Release Date: Christmas, 2016

People like animals. People like singing competitions. As the tiny Old El Paso Taco girl once said, “Por que no los dos?” In this animated critter comedy, Matthew McConaughey stars as a  straight-laced koala, Buster Moon (all-time fake name right there), who owns a struggling, but beloved theatre. In a fundraising effort, he commissions a singing competition that causes a whole bunch of sentient beasts to go glaze-eyed with dreams of glory. The other performers include: John C. Reilly as a “black sheep” best friend to Moon; Seth MacFarlane as a silver-tongued, jazz playing mouse; and Reese Witherspoon as a pig single mother who still clings to her teenage aspirations of superstardom.

Director: Zack Snyder

Genre: Bloated Superhero Blockbuster

Actors: Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Jesse Eisenberg

Release: March 25, 2016

Batman and Superman, the two finest American myths, are reduced to well-muscled, colorfully-leotarded bananas for scale against Richter-scale-registering explosions. In this official final trailer, we hear the dilemma between the duo rehashed: Batman’s inferiority complex to Superman’s ability to control or destroy Earth causes the Dark Knight to devote his considerable resources to stopping the extraterrestrial after a skyscraper-ruining disaster. It’s noble, then you see a snippet of the B-man laying waste to some anonymous henchmen, and you realize this vigilante billionaire probably isn’t qualified to lecture against abuse of power. Elsewhere in the film, model Gal Gadot stars as a plucky Wonder Woman, Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor’s Silicon Valley honcho son and Amy Adams as reporter love interest of Clark Kent incapable of recognizing people without their glasses.

Director: Jake Szymanski

Genre: Raunchy, Wacky Double-Date Comedy

Stars: Zac Efron, Adam Devine, Anna Kendrick, Aubrey Plaza

Release Date: July 8, 2016

Workaholics’ Adam Devine and husky-eyed heartthrob Zac Efron comprise a (surprisingly) phenotypically similar pair of siblings who wreck every family outing with grandiose debauchery such as trampoline acrobatics and reckless firework launching. To tame the fellas, their father demands they bring dates to their sister’s upcoming wedding. Enter Anna Kendrick and Aubrey Plaza, two hungover dames that seek to wheedle a free trip to Hawaii out of the doofy marks. Devine ratchets up his trembling lunacy to twelve and bounces off burgeoning straight man extraordinaire, Zac Efron, while the perpetually pouty Plaza racks up another starring role—marking the continued entertainment dominance of Parks and Rec alums.  

Director: Babak Najafi

Genre: Unnecessary Terrorism-Fighting Sequel

Stars: Gerard Butler, Aaron Eckhart, Morgan Freeman

Release Date: March 4 2016

After preventing a catastrophic attack on the White House by North Koreans, hardscrabble Secret Service agent, Mike Banning (Gerard Butler) accompanies the president (Aaron Eckhart) to England for the funeral of the British Prime Minister. A terrorism savant (Alon Abutbul) hijacks the solemn ceremony and sends his goons to kill as many world leaders as they can. In this clip, we see Butler in full combat mode, calmly strategizing during a high-speed chase like a prodigy playing timed chess. As the transport zips through the streets of London, Butler smokes a handful of baddies with casual ease before his driver slams on the brakes and puts a motorcycle-mounted henchman’s head through his back window—a noggin Butler promptly injects with lead. 

Director: Taika Waititi

Genre: New Zealand Wilderness Comedy

Stars: Sam Neill, Julian Dennison

Release Date: Coming Soon

Ricky Baker (Julian Dennison), a pudgy ten year-old menace torches mailboxes, sprays lewd graffiti and shoplifts armfuls of convenience store loot. The “very bad egg” gets sent to the countryside to live with foster parents until his adopted mother dies, leaving Ricky likely to return to the state system. Rather than that, he takes off into the jungle where he is soon tracked down by his outdoorsy, de facto uncle, Hec, who meets Ricky with a dead boar slung across his shoulders. The situation spirals out of control after the media and law enforcement misconstrue Hec’s (non-perverted) motives for helping Ricky in the wilderness and this mix-up leads to a loony, large-scale manhunt for the two orchestrated by a sassy, relentless social worker.