Honestly, fuck this.

Apparently, the average American imbecile puts greater trust in Amazon and Google than noted national treasure Tom Hanks. That's the takeaway from a new report by market research firm Morning Consult, with Mashable reporting Monday that 39 and 38 percent of people trust Amazon and Google "a lot to do the right thing" against 34 percent for Hanks. Coming in at 50 percent is "your primary doctor," ahead of the military at 44 percent, followed by Amazon and Google. One spot ahead of Hanks, somehow, are extreme weather warnings. Oprah, religious leaders, the government, and capitalism are among the people and institutions who ranked lower than Hanks.

As researchers explain in the report, "broad societal distrust" is having an impact across issues both big and small, with a worth-pointing-out mere eight percent of Americans saying they have "a lot" of trust in news media organizations.

Hanks, meanwhile, was honored earlier this month with the Cecil B. DeMille Award at the Golden Globes. "The most undeniable thing that could be said about Tom Hanks is both deceptively simple and yet overwhelmingly true: He just makes the world a better place," Charlize Theron, who worked with Hanks on the megaclassic That Thing You Do, said when introducing the award. That same night, distractions abounded via Chet Haze.