ComplexCon returns to Long Beach Nov. 6 - 7 with hosts J. Balvin and Kristen Noel Crawley, performances by A$AP Rocky and Turnstile, and more shopping and drops.

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If finding out Santa Claus isn’t real didn’t ruin your childhood, let Pornhub fix that real quick. You ready? OK. Remember Rugrats? (If you were born in late 80s-early 90s, of course you do.) What about Tugrats? No? Well, sadly, it’s exactly what you think it is: the porn parody of our much-beloved animated series about—and this one of many problematic aspects of this story—babies. Ugh. It’s okay to cry. RIP any remaining bit of your childhood innocence. 

As the remarkably safe for work trailer for Tugrats reveals, the stars of the original are not playing babies (thank god) but the grown-up version of their respective characters. Despite having reached the age of consent, the characters' costumes have not matured. So, as you may have feared, that means the grown-ass man playing Tommy is in fact wearing a diaper. Looking back, perhaps Rugrats had it coming with one of the series’ most quotable lines: “Nakie is good, nakie is free, nakie is… NAKIE!” 

As far as the plot goes, the film's title card, which is eerily reminiscent to that of the original, promises that “Chuckie gets lucky.” NOOOOOOOOO. Why, God!? Whyyyyyyy??? And spoiler alert (in case spoiling your childhood wasn’t enough): It looks like Chuckie gets it on with Angelica after taking one of “Stu’s boner pills.” If anything, Tugrats proves that nothing in this forsaken world is sacred anymore, and Rule 34 is as much a sad fact of human existence as our own inevitable deaths. And no, I am not overreacting.