It wouldn't be Super Bowl season without a wave of announcements regarding delightfully weird-as-fuck commercials. Though I honestly have no idea what a "Super Bowl" even is, I readily admit that I subscribe to the tenets of the Schwimmerssance, and I'm stoked beyond belief that David Fucking Schwimmer has linked with Skittles for a stunt that may very well best the Jeff Goldblum and Lil Wayne–assisted advertising coups of yesteryear.
Skittles has released four extremely brief teasers featuring Schwimmer, though exactly what they're teasing remains a little uncertain. According to People, the plan is to not actually show the final Super Bowl bit to anyone except apparent Skittles mega-fan (and, hopefully, real person) Marcos Menendez. "The highly exclusive ad will not be leaked to the public, and no, this is not a joke," a Skittles rep said Wednesday. "The ad will be revealed to Marcos on Super Bowl Sunday on Skittles' Facebook page."
Schwimmer spoke with Ad Age about the enviable gig and confirmed that he will also be unable to watch the final ad shown to Menendez. "I just thought it was really funny and inherently subversive," Schwimmer, who also confirmed that he enjoys Skittles himself, said.
The clips teased so far, all of which are listed on YouTube as "possible" Super Bowl ads, show Schwimmer doing highly filmable activities such as floating aimlessly and attempting to ingest talking sandwiches:
If any Skittles reps are reading this, feel free to send me one of those talking sandwiches.