It’s December, so let’s pour one out as we reminisce the year that’s been. In 2017 we:
Survived President Trump and North Korea’s nukes, were blessed with Gucci Mane’s wedding and two Migos Grammy noms, copped Nike x Off-White’s “The Ten”, found out Man’s Not Hot, voted “yes” to equality here in Australia, said hello to Salt Bae and Bhad Bhabie, and said goodbye to the old Taylor Swift, as well as to like, a third of our nation’s dual-citizen pollies.
There, we’ve just covered all the main talking points at your Christmas lunch. Thank us later. In the meantime, here are six Netflix Originals for after you’ve had third helpings, popped your fourth shirt button and sank your fifth eggnog.
Dark (series)
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Dark is Netflix’s first ever German original series, and is ready to fill the supernatural-drama void in your life. In the small town of Winden in southern Germany, a young boy has gone missing – the second disappearance in weeks. His family’s search for answers will reveal “a mind-bending mystery that spans three generations”.
Writer Tantje Friese and director Baran Bo Odar looked to Twin Peaks and the Nordic Noir genre for inspiration in bringing this series to life. Dark may have already been compared with Stranger Things, but eschews ghoulish creatures in favour of warping time and space. Just look at the show’s tagline: “The question is not WHO. The question is not HOW. But WHEN.”
Dark airs December 1 on Netflix Australia.
Voyeur (documentary)
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Do you feel just a bit creepy when you’re 72-weeks deep on a stranger’s Insta? Well, don’t feel too bad. Gerald Foos, a motel owner in Colorado, not only secretly watched his guests through a peephole his attic for DECADES, but also kept detailed journals of what he saw. Congrats Gerald, you tha real MVP (most voyeuristic pervert).
But who watches the watcher? That would be Gay Talese, the legendary journo who broke this story in 2016. In Voyeur, Talese recounts how he finally wrote and published Foos’ exploits after sitting on them for 20 years. Foos is also interviewed extensively, and boy, is he an unapologetic creep.
Voyeur Airs December 1 on Netflix Australia.
El Camino Christmas (film)
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Filmmaker Ted Melfi has been trying to make El Camino Christmas since he bought the script a decade ago. With Netflix on board, the dark comedy will finally see the light of day. In trying to track down the father he’s never met, Eric Roth (Luke Grimes) ends up in shanty El Camino, Nevada – where he’s mistaken for a drug dealer, and ends up barricaded in a liquor store with five strangers on Christmas Eve. The film is directed by Dave Talbert (Almost Christmas) and stars Tim Allen, Vincent D’Onofrio and Dax Shepard.
El Camino Christmas airs on December 8.
Judd Apatow: The Return (comedy special)
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What comes to mind when you hear the name Judd Apatow? Probably the faces of James Franco, Seth Rogen, Bill Hader, and everyone else in ACU (Apatow Cinematic Universe), right? The director/writer/producer has been making us laugh from behind the scenes for so long that we forget he started out as a stand-up.
Judd Apatow: The Return sees the comedy auteur pick up the mic for the first time in 25 years. Filmed at the Montreal Just For Laughs Festival earlier this year, Apatow anguishes over raising teenage daughters, binge-watching, trying to make Obama laugh, and more. Check out the trailer below, featuring fellow comics Amy Schumer, Mike Birbiglia, Ronny Chieng and Chris Gethard all discouraging him from doing the show.
Judd Apatow: The Return airs December 12 on Netflix Australia.
Ultimate Beastmaster (series)
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Yes, Netflix, produce a show that sees super-human athletes battle near-impossible circuits. We’ll just be tuning in from our couches, jeering at small slip-ups through mouthfuls of UberEats.
While the concept is not new at all, Netflix’s version will have over 100 competitors from six countries – all with their own regional hosts! That’s Spain, France, Italy, China, India and the U.S. all vying for the title of Ultimate Beastmaster. The “beast” actually refers to the obstacle course itself, as in, the starting gate of the course looks straight outta Alien vs Predator. Not beast-mode enough for you? We forgot to mention that Sylvester “Rocky Balboa” Stallone is serving as the show’s executive producer.
All we are saying (especially to any Ninja Warrior and MXC purists out there) is give Beast a chance.
Ultimate Beastmaster airs December 15 on Netflix Australia.
Bright (film)
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Note that December began with a series called Dark and is ending with a film called Bright. At north of $90m, the David Ayer (Suicide Squad, Training Day) action-thriller is rumoured to be the most expensive film ever commissioned by Netflix. It stars Will Smith and Joel Edgerton as Ward and Jakoby, two LAPD officers who on one of their routine patrols come across something that will change the world forever. Sounding pedestrian so far? Oh yeah, we forgot to mention that Jakoby is a MF’in ORC. Yes, like in Lord of the Rings, and yes, there are elves, too. The trailers look promising, with plenty of human-magical creature tensions, shoot-outs with LA gangs, and a taste of the original soundtrack that will feature the likes of Future, Migos, Logic, Ty Dolla $ign, Meek Mill, Snoop Dogg, YG, A$AP Rocky, DRAM and Lil Uzi Vert.
Bright airs December 22 on Netflix Australia.
