Steve Harvey is apparently "seeking more free time" for himself throughout the day. In a freshly leaked memo allegedly sent from Harvey to the staff of his daytime talk show, the comedian lists a series of requirements for those working on the recently relocated series' fifth season. The memo, which first popped up on Robert Feder's blog on "Chicago media," basically tells everyone to fuck off forever. Relatable, honestly.

"Good morning, everyone," Harvey wrote in the memo sent to staff. "I'd like you all to review and adhere to the following notes and rules for Season 5 of my talk show." The first rule? A simple one:

There will be no meetings in my dressing room. No stopping by or popping in. NO ONE.

From there, Harvey's list of notes and rules gets progressively more hilarious or ridiculous, depending on who you ask:

For a true gauge on Harvey's memo to staff, let's see what Twitter has to say:

While we're at it, I too will now require more free time throughout the day. Do not speak to me unless I have sent a notarized letter of approval beforehand. You will recognize the letter as official due to a marking on the outside of the envelope informing you of permission to speak to me for no longer than 15 seconds. Once your time is up, fuck off. If you attempt a sixteenth second of speaking time, you will be fired from whatever job you hold, regardless of territory.

After the memo started making the rounds, Harvey spoke to Entertainment Tonight. "I just didn't want to be in this prison anymore where I had to be in this little room, scared to go out and take a breath of fresh air without somebody approaching me, so I wrote the letter," Harvey said Thursday. "I don't apologize about the letter, but it's kind of crazy what people who took this thing and ran, man. I appreciate you asking me." Read Harvey's post-memo comments in full here.

Anyway, according to Variety, Harvey is moving his daytime talk show from Chicago to Los Angeles later this year. The LA-based version will reportedly feature a new crew "at Harvey's request." Sources told Variety Wednesday that the alleged memo to Chicago staff may have been leaked by a former crew member who was not asked to stay on for the move to LA.